tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22179016025322738.post2862290653092502730..comments2023-09-02T09:16:23.414-05:00Comments on Just My Current Perspective: The Grief ProcessStephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07047171527060416751noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22179016025322738.post-73182277244928875212011-06-02T12:12:03.063-05:002011-06-02T12:12:03.063-05:00Kubler-Ross' theories piss me off. They still ...Kubler-Ross' theories piss me off. They still are used as the primary basis for understanding of grief. Its almost laughable that in 2011, so still provides the main theory that professionals use in explaining the process. I'm a school psychologist with two MA degrees and used to use it myself when I did bereavement counseling before my husband died.<br /><br />Her ideas were not wrong, they are just GROSSLY oversimplified. Grief's stages suck and they are messy. How they occur had more to do with the life the decedent left behind. Complex legacies of the dead lead to complex grief for the living. Sure, when people die, we are sad. But when they were alive did we only feel one emotion toward them? No. There was joy, anger, disappointment, resentment, praise, loyalty, protection, etc. etc. All of those dynamics carry over into grief too.<br /><br />How Kubler-Ross and her present day contemporaries managed to gloss over that is astounding to me. Theory has it's place, but for me, the most comfort and understanding in the grieving process has come from relationships and in relating to others who have felt what I feel. For me, that has helped me "normalize" and has eased the ache of loss. Ultimately though, it just gets better with time and in learning how to live with the loss.<br /><br />Not easy. Never fun. But good can come from it. Death after all, is a part of the circle of life. I think that embracing the new growth that occupies new space is really the key.Sunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04017619331927690093noreply@blogger.com