Thursday, September 12, 2013

Brave and Important

I mentioned in the last entry that one of the things I've been doing to help me through my own grief is reading books and blogs of others who are also struggling with the difficult work of grief.

Here's a link to a blog that I started reading about the time my nephew was born last spring; in fact, I got the idea for making the video of photos from my sister's pregnancy and from the birth of my nephew from this site.  The story of the family that's detailed in the blog is sad but so touching and inspiring:

                                 Chasing Rainbows

I started reading the "Darcy Claire" part first - but it will make more sense if you click on each of the children's names across the top of the home page in order from left to right (that's their birth order), Gavin then Brian then Darcy Claire. When you get to the Darcy Claire part, have some tissues ready and be sure to watch the video (the link is at the bottom of the entry when you click on her name).

When you've read that, find the Blog Archive list on the right-hand side and click on "2013" and then "April" - that's what was happening in real-time just after I started following the blog, and it's very dramatic.  Start reading at the entry from April 2013 entitled "A Piece of Pop" and follow it from there - you won't believe what happens as the story continues to unfold.  

Be sure to read the entry called "Without Ever Uttering A Word;" it's touching beyond description.  It makes me think of the many kids I've gotten to know through my job as an occupational therapist who aren't able to communicate verbally and who've made such an impression on me through the years.  And be sure to read the one entitled "The End;" it's potentially the most powerful blog entry I've ever read.

Some of the things that have struck me in particular as I've read the entries (and from watching the Darcy video) are how touching it is how Kate (the mom) never seems to mind having her picture taken, even in the midst of tragedy, how she repeatedly says she feels "privileged" even in the midst of what must have felt like excruciatingly hard waiting, and how she seems to need to do something to try to help herself through her grief, even as the tragedy unfolds. Some of the stuff she writes about how hard it is to function at all in a state of grief reminds me of how I felt like I was that first year after my dad went on ahead, struggling just to get supper on the table or to pay a bill or help my kids with homework.  I admire Kate's writing because, while she's hopeful and that fact shines through almost everything she writes, she doesn't sugarcoat some of the ugly of grief, and I think that's brave and important.