For a long time after my dad died, I felt foolish when I thought back to the way we were so hopeful that he would beat the odds. I felt like I'd somehow been tricked or that I'd misinterpreted the information in such a major way that I could never again trust that what I was seeing real or true. Looking back at my Facebook posts from during the time when Dad was sick and seeing things I'd said like "starting to feel at least a little hopeful," I felt ashamed at the way I'd stepped out of character and had let my emotions overrule my logic. I felt like the hope that I had clung to during Dad's illness had been unfounded, irrational, desperate, even ridiculous, but, over the course of the last couple of years, the words of my dad's friend and a few other things that have happened have caused me to start thinking of hope in a totally different way.
"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge - myth is more potent than history - dreams are more powerful than facts - hope always triumphs over experience - laughter is the cure for grief - love is stronger than death." ~Robert Fulghum